I feel like I'm juggling a million things right now, trying to maintain a social life, barely keeping up with school, working two jobs, Bible studies, constantly going from one thing to the next. I'd like to prioritize, but honestly I don't know what needs to go. School started two months ago, and honestly I never feel like I was ready for it. I'm definitely not giving it the time I really need to, which leads to pulling all-nighters in my procrastination. I think above all else, I really need to give school a big priority. It's crazy to think that last year school was really all I did, and now I just try to fit it in where I can.
I really don't like being a busy person. I look forward to Monday's because it's my only day where I don't work at either job usually, I only have two classes, and a huge chunk in the afternoon free. The rest of the week is taken up by going from one place to the next-- school, work, home, back to school, on to the museum-- it's very exhausting! I don't know why it's so hard to focus this semester, I don't know what the problem is. On top of it all, I haven't been making time for Jesus time, which I so desperately need! I try to fill my life up with everything else that doesn't satisfy, when I really just need Him so much. It's really hard to follow Him and to live a life that truly glorifies Him. I get so tired of my roller coaster of my walk with Him. I so want to constantly be growing closer to Him, not up and down like it has been for a while. I'd really like an older woman to mentor me, I think that might help my growth a lot. A lot of it too is knowing where to read in the Bible. I feel lost in that area. I usually just read from the New Testament, but what I'd really like is to keep it fresh, to learn new things, to get a different perspective on something I've read a hundred times.
On a study break, I decided to focus on something I could control-- cleaning my room. I put a ton of clothes away, threw things in the trash, swept the floor and now I don't feel quite as crazy. I think if anything your bedroom should be a peaceful place! I still need to decorate and put pictures on the walls and everything.
I hope I can stay up tonight and try to get more done on my essay exam. I'm almost done with my third cup of coffee tonight, and I feel like a lot of my energy is gone. I'm going to try and drudge through it tonight so tomorrow won't be quite as stressful.
Monday, October 12, 2009
On the Mind...
Posted by lanes at 2:52 AM
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2 comments:
I'm sorry, pal. Remember, though, it won't last forever.
Sometimes, when I'm in a setting that has a diverse group of people and ages, I look at them and think, "wow, they're done with this. They're married, have kids, regularly scheduled jobs," and somehow, that helps me! Just knowing that this is just a phase (and one that we are almost out of) really helps.
Try to eliminate any TV, fo real. It's screwing you in the long run. And don't be afraid of saying "no" to people who want to hang out. You gotta take care of your own self! We never feel good if we're not doing our best in our responsibilities, so try to work hard at the things you are committed to (school), and you will enjoy it more, learn more, and feel more confident and secure in your knowledge. I'm trying to have my quiet times at freaking 5:30 in the morning, which would require me to go to bed by about 10:30. I agree with you that Jesus is SO important, and it's incredibly hard to feel really successful at both the Christian walk and school, because it seems like you can't be 100% at both. I need to learn how to not just fit Him in, but live for Him in even the busy times, when I need Him most. Time management is a definite discipline, and it's one I am trying to hard to improve on!!!
Let me know if you want any help with anything, or a latte, or a massage.
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